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Do You Have a Mollifier in Your Home?

by Diane Henkler on 01/09/2012

“A what?” – A Mollifier – you know some decorative object or piece of furniture that you allow into your home because as awful as it may be, it makes someone else who lives with you very happy.  I have one and you have been seeing a lot of it lately as I am trying to make it a Jollifier.  “A what?”  – A Jollifier – you know that sentimental object in your home that spreads a little joy every time you cast your eye upon it.

I never heard the terms Mollifier and Jollifier before I read Deborah Needleman’s book – The Perfectly Imperfect Home, but knew exactly what she was talking about and loved the fact that she gave these items in our homes such endearing references.

Debra Needleman

Debra Needleman

I picked the book up because I love decorating books that are illustrated instead of having photos.  They are timeless – no trendy looks or décor to date them.  Just good decorating advice.   I collect them.

Book The Prefectly Imperfect Home by Deborah Needleman

In my next life I want to be able to draw and paint as well as the illustrator of this book – Virginia Johnson. I have a few posts where I did the illustrations here on my blog. You can see them here, here, here.  It is something that I enjoy doing when I have the time.

Sorry to get off course, but this book made me laugh, nod in agreement, and just tickled my fancy.  I am not a formal decorating type person – I like to mix things up in my own style.  No formality and Deborah delivered.   If you have never heard of Deborah – she was the founding editor of Domino Magazine and the author of the decorating book, Domino.

This is my Mollifier

Brown Furniture - making it work in your decor

Sorry honey – this piano means a lot to my hubby, so we keep it. No one plays it except when our youngest took lessons when she was in grade school.   It was a hand me down and the biggest issue I have with it is  – it is brown.    It is not that I dislike wood furniture. It is just that I have hardwood floors now in this room and when brown wood furniture is placed on top of brown hardwood – both are just too much brown for my taste.  There is no contrast.  I also don’t think I am a fan of painted pianos, maybe I will stain it black.   Jury is still out on that – so until the verdict comes in – I have been playing with ways to make this piano a Jollifier.

Decorating-Ideas-for-around

 

Last week, I showed you how I added some energy to the space by covering the bench in a bold color.  Before the holidays, I painted a thrift store mirror white and added it to the wall above the piano. The area is coming together, but it still was bothering me – the floor and the piano – both brown – no contrast. Contrast is good for a room. I found an inexpensive sisal rug to break up the brown a bit.  When my budget allows I want to replace the big rug in this room with a sisal rug.   I have one in my foyer and kitchen so they not only add a bit of texture and visual interest, but they unify the rooms and create a nice balance throughout the first floor of my home.  A nice colorful rug would look nice here too, since this is no man’s land between the kitchen and family room.  I will have to search to find one the right color and size – maybe like this Dash & Albert rug.

Dash and Albert Rug

My next plan of action is to add some molding and bead board to the short wall on the right side of the piano.  That might add some interest and contrast, also.  There is an air duct in the wall above the mirror that runs the length of the room. My house was the builder’s spec house and they did things the easy way. It ruins the lines of the already very narrow room especially at the other end where it throws off the symmetry.  I have painted the walls many different colors over the years, but like the neutral back drop so I can add any color I choose to the space. I don’t want to be locked into a scheme because of the wall color.  I do plan to add more grass cloth on this side of my kitchen. It is on the other side already, but I stopped on this side for some reason that totally escapes me now. I have the paper, I just need to hang it.

Decorating the family room ideas

The grass cloth wallpaper in the kitchen.

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Do you have a Mollifier in your home?  I would enjoy hearing about it and how you try to make it a Jollifier?

 

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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Paula Pierce January 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

My husband has an office space now, so all the mollifiers get to go in there. . . where someone can really appreciate them! ( I guess I’m sort of cheating there). Thanks for the ideas on creating contrast. I’m really struggling in my cream on cream on beige living room.

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2 Diane January 10, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Hi Paula –
You are lucky that you can channel all of your mollifiers to one room. :) As far as working with the neutral color scheme I would search for images of neutral rooms on sites like House Beautiul.com. BHG.com, StyleatHome.com, and SouthernLiving.com. I am sure you will find the inspiration needed to help bring the room together. When decorating a neutral room try adding lots of different textures – rough, shiny, metallic, stone, woven, glass, etc. That is what will help make it all come together.

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3 Staining Wood January 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Not in our home but as a yard ornament we have a wishing well. Its huge and although our yard space is as well I really just cant stand it. My husband made it and although I tried to sell it (yup I really wanted someone, anyone else to take it) but like I said its not one you can just throw in the back of a car trunk. So Ive installed a rock wall around it, Ivy, a fence, cute DIY bird house and many, many other plants and such to try and make it Jollifier! I’m the one doing the upkeep and still I’m not in love with it yet:(

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4 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:54 pm

It sounds like you are doing your best to make it a Jollifier by adding the plants and birhouses. Do flowers make it look any better?

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5 Erin @ Out on A Limb... January 9, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I most certainly do have a mollifier! I was just trying to convince my hubs to send his beloved espresso leather (possibly pleather) love seat to the basement when it gets renovated soon. I’d much rather have a white slipcovered or beautifully upholstered pair of club chairs its place, but no dice. He makes so few requests, it must stay, therefore, it’s my mollifier.

I loved this post, because in real decorating, in our real homes, these are our challenges. I also loved what you did with the piano bench!

I will share pics of my mollifier! Thanks for keeping it real. I may have to put Deborah Needleman’s book on my wishlist.

Have a great week.
Erin

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6 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Hi Erin -
Thanks. Maybe when your hubs sees the basement all finished, he may love it so much that he wants the chair down there. I would keep my fingers crossed.

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7 Holly January 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Our tv stand!! Ugh I’ve been searching and thrifting high and low for a replacement but no dice yet. This book is on my wish list!

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8 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Hi Holly-

We need to plan a thrifting day soon.

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9 Lisa January 9, 2012 at 3:45 pm

ha ha ha ha I laughed so hard at this! Mollifier!! What a lovely name for something you hate! ha ha ha ha I do have Mollifiers….my husband wanted to keep pictures that use to hang on his wall when he was a teen and single! There is only one left in sight….The others have some how found a new home behind the couch! (wink) I am not sure how???? ha ha ha ha ha We are renting now, but soon enough I am hoping we will have our own home and they could go in his space…like the garage or shop or even an play room??!! (wink)

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10 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Hi Lisa-

That sounds like the perfect place – the garage, basement or shop. Tell him it will make the area more homey :) When I first got married my hubs had all his golf trophies lining the mantel. First thing I did was box them up and sent them to the attic. Later I took all the little metal plaques off of them and make a scrapbook for him so he would have a keepsake. The trophies then went into the trash.

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11 Carol-Anne January 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

My husband loves this wood office chair….and really, it’s not a BAD chair…but I hate it! Or at least I think it would look great if it was painted and he won’t hear of it!

So for the moment, I’m putting a lovely colourful pillow on it. Which he throws on the floor ever time he sits on the chair.

Luckily he’s such a good guy, he’s worth the ugly chair.

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12 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Hi Carol-Anne-

Mine is worth the piano, too. Is the wood chair like the kind they sell in Pottery Barn? That fact that it is brown probably throws off your cheery color filled home.

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13 Debbie-refreshrestyle January 9, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Yes, it’s the exercise equipment that doesn’t get used, but he wants to keep! I cringe!
Debbie

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14 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Hi Debbie-

That is a big one,especially if it gets in the way or becomes a place to hang clothes. I had a client a few years ago whose husband had a huge treadmill right in the kitchen so he could see the TV when working out. Know that you are not alone.

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15 Mandy January 10, 2012 at 12:56 am

Hi Diane, thankfully I DO NOT have a Mollifier! Apparently, that makes me a very lucky woman!!! I have friends who have Mollifiers!!!! Okay so now you got me thinking…..maybe my husband has a Mollifier?????

Tell your husband that I vote for the stained black piano :-).

Mandy

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16 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Thanks Mandy –
He wouldn’t care if I painted it pink, he justs wants to have a piano in the house because it makes the house feel like a home to him. It does sound nice when someone who knows how to play visits. You are a lucky woman.

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17 Gloria January 10, 2012 at 4:42 am

I see I’m not the only one who has a Mollifier TV stand. Mine came from Ikea. I’d love to score an old Asian style armoire. I have seen them reconverted into media centers. I keep my eyes open every time I go thrifting, but no luck yet. I don’t lose hope…

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18 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Hi Gloria -
Don’t lose hope and don’t settle. It will show up when you least expect it -so be ready :)

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19 Catherine In NJ January 10, 2012 at 7:38 am

Dear Diane- Do I have a mollifier?! I have a brick fireplace that begs me everyday to paint it. However, the hubby and kids made me promise never to paint it. Hubby lets me do whatever decorating project I wish, with the exception of that darn fireplace. Anyway, I have a thought. I had seen on a decorating blog a wife who made a sortof “slipcover” out of an inexspensive wood- maybe MDF board or something. You are so talented could you not do the same thing in some way? GOOD LUCK!

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20 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Thanks Catherine-

Sorry to hear you can’t paint your fireplace. I painted mine about 10 years ago. My hubs didn’t even notice :) Maybe your hubs and the kids will understand if you show them lots of beautiful images of painted fireplaces…or have you done that already? Thanks for the idea – I will think on it til I come up with something.

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21 Patti January 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Oh, too many mollifiers in my home to mention! My hubs is stingy when it comes to letting me do our home the way I want to, he feels I need his input (I don’t). I have to say my most hated mollifier is his office right off the kitchen. He works from home full time and the office is always a wreck. I feel like my home has become his shop!

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22 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Hi Patti –
My husband works from home, too until he get re-employed. He is pretty neat, but has taken over the kitchen with all his stuff. Do you have the option to close the door when you don’t want to look at ii?

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23 Sandy January 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I have what started out as a mollifier but became a jollifier. We inherited a piece of artwork from my husband’s dad. He died before I ever got to meet him. I know that he was a pretty wonderful man from everything I have heard about him. But even had I not heard any stories about my Father-in-law, I would know that he was a wonderful man just because of what an amazing man/husband his son is. This piece of art is not my taste at all. A woodsy picture of a pack of wolves. The colors are fine so it works. At first I really couldn’t stand it but I knew it meant so much to my husband I didn’t have the heart to not hang it. He lives here too and I want it to feel like his house; like he has a place and isn’t just living in MY house. Well, the more I walk by that painting, the more I look at it and think of my Father-in-law that I never met, the more I love that picture. Now I look at it and say a little thank you to him for raising the man of my dreams.

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24 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Hi Sandy – What a wonderful story. I can see what it became a Jollifier for you. What a nice way to have a connection with the father-in-law you never had the chance to meet. I am sure he is smiling down at you from heaven :)

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25 Dawn January 10, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Mine is a piano too, it doesn’t go with my other furniture at all. I finally moved it into the guest bedroom. It’s my mother who won’t let me get rid of it and she doesn’t even live here! Great post, I was watching a rerun of “Frasier” the other day and it was about him wanting to get rid of his father’s ugly recliner!

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26 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Hi Dawn -
I feel for you about the piano. It is a large piece and has to go against a wall so it limits what you can do with it in a room. In my first house after I got married I made a wall of bookshelves around it. It looked pretty good. In this house the wall is too small. Best of luck trying to make it a Jollifier.

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27 Evie March 28, 2013 at 1:53 pm

Unreal, Dawn, but I actually REMEMBER that episode from when it was aired the first time! Wonder when that was? Oh, I loved that show. …and I love this blog! I’m so glad I discovered it! So much fun to browse around and find wonderful surprises. Diane, thanks for the *specifics*! Very helpful and inspiring!

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28 frugalscholar January 10, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I’ve just finished this book. Another I like a lot is an older one: Diana Phipps’s Affordable Splendor.

Love your blog.

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29 Diane January 10, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Thanks so much. xo I think I read Affordable Splendor years ago too. I can even remember the cover. I used to keep a list of all the books I have read. I can’t seem to find it. The next time I am at the library I will check to see it they have it to refresh my memory.

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30 moonsword January 14, 2012 at 2:46 am

ohyeah…a house-full of them! A big ole wooden chest in one room, exercise equipment in another, a baby grand in a third…that’s just the first floor!
So there are plenty of diy tutorials around the net for making couch slipcovers (or maybe you know how to make them)…how about a piano slipcover? No one’s using the piano, right? So make a nice neutral cover, simple lines, maybe in classic off-white, white-on-white stripes or florals, or…? Then display photos on top or just one simple decorative piece. If hubs questions it, just tell him it’s a practical solution to keep harmful dust out of and sunlight off of the piano. ;)

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31 Diane January 15, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Thanks for the idea. I am not sure I have the skills to sew that much detail and still have it look good. :) I do wish I was a better at the sewing machine. I did make a slipcover for a chair once – it came out great, but took me forever.

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32 Catherine In NJ January 16, 2012 at 11:46 am

Dear Diane- In HGTV magazine (Feb/March) two decorators painted a piano white. Well…..please don’t do that. I laughed so hard at the slipcover idea! I wonder how long it would take me to slipcover my horrible brick fireplace? It took me 4 months to make a Halter top for myself back in the 70′s! I am so glad I’m not alone with my mollifer.

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33 MelissaJane January 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Oh, I love this post. My husband’s entire studioffice (also a fantastic word, thank you; he’s a musician, artist, and professional tech guy, so it’s ideal for his man cave) is my mollifier. It’s all ugly boxes of electronica, ugly shelving, ugly pragmatic furniture, and wires and cables EVERYWHERE. Oh, and boxes and boxes of crap that he refuses to sort or unpack. We’ve lived in…seven (yikes) houses together in the ten years we’ve been together, and his studioffice has sometimes been the first room you see in the house, and I’ve bitten my tongue so hard it bleeds, but he lets me do anything else I want AND he’s the sweetest man on earth, so yeah.

I am working on jollifying this one, though. We’ve got some IKEA
Expedits in there instead of the wire shelving, and some of the crap is in bins that fit in the Expedits, so that’s a huge improvement. (Yes, imagine a room where out of the box IKEA furniture can be called a “huge improvement”!!) Gonna paint, hang some stuff up, and honestly I might just put a big divider up so you don’t see as much of his stuff!

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34 Joy January 23, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I came across this article that made me think of your piano mollifier:
http://www.bhg.com/decorating/decorating-style/country/classic-country-rooms/#page=1
I think if you picture the mantle in the background as a piano, you can kind of picture a nice way to merge the piano into your home (set against a wall, “window” mirrors on either side, seating in front of it – not necessarily facing it). Not sure if it’s for you or if it would even work out how I’m imagining it, just saw the photo and thought I would pass it along. Maybe, too, it’s just the colors that aren’t working out. All of the white you have on the piano makes the piano stand out as very brown. Perhaps the ashy-tan/stone colors (as in the link) would make the wood tones blend more? Just a thought.

At any rate, you have a lovely home. Thank you for sharing it with us!

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35 katie h January 26, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Omg do I have a mollifier! My boyfriend is military and I’m prior, and when I got out, we moved in together. He has this HUGE entertainment center. It’s from when he was stationed in Okinawa, and it’s handmade. It’s beautiful, and is stained a dark cherry brown, and has gorgeous carvings and little lights and glass shelves and stuff… it’s really a work of art. My problem is that the thing is GIGANTIC. It literally takes up an entire wall- no exaggeration. The stupid thing cost him like $7K, and he’s in love with it. It takes up a third of my living room, and we live in Hawaii- housing is not very spacious here. Everything else we have is bright and cheery, and then smack in the heart of our home is a monsterous hulking brown beast. We’re going to be buying a house in the next 5 years, and I’m hoping for one with a basement I can turn into a man-cave… that way I can give it it’s own very special home. Because it’s so… special. I’ve even tried to put colorful sculptures and pictures of his kids and stuff on the shelves, but it’s still quite overwhelming.

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36 Jaybird June 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

I have the same mollifier as you, but I am the mollifiee :^) I also have about 3000 pounds of music since I am a professional musician. Whooee…it’s a headache!! When you come up with a solution for making it all look wonderful, please let me know!!
Thanks for posting..I am enjoying reading your blog backward. I just found it this morning!
J

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37 Diane June 7, 2012 at 10:26 am

Hi J -
In your case it makes total sense to have a piano in your house – you play it. No one plays it it mine. It justs sits there :( If I ever come up with a plan I will be sure to share it with you.

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38 Raya June 30, 2012 at 9:54 am

This is a great post! :D

I have a mollifier (and let me chime in on saying what an awesome term this is for it), and unlike yours it is not only unmatching but really hideous. When we first moved in together my husband somehow got this plastic Ikea office chair for free. Since we don’t have a lot of money nor furniture, it has stayed, our dining table is surrounded by three perfectly lovely white wooden chairs — and then this thing. I have exressed (probably much too loudly even) my dislike of this chair, not only due to it’s appearance but also because it’s horrible to sit on, heavy to move around and thus no one ever even uses it! But my husband gets very offended. You see, “this is the only/first thing I brought to the house”, he will say. And: “besides, we don’t have anything better”. We would, if he would let me get something better!

But I have had to come to terms with the fact that this horrible piece of uncomfortable and impractical furniture will have a prominant place in our house until a) we get rich enough that my husband doesn’t care about spending money on “luxury” b) it breaks. My husband would never believe me if I said I broke it on accident, and it is very heavily constructed, so I think option a) is my only hope..

You’ve done good work with yours. I wich there was a way to modify this beast, but I don’t even think there is. That colour would shine through any amount of spray paint, and there is no way to hide the hideousness of the design. Sigh.

:D

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39 Diane June 30, 2012 at 10:19 am

Hi Raya -

I feel for you and totally understand how you must feel every time you walk into your dining room. Perhaps with time and a little more coaxing – it will be history. I laughed that you can’t even say it broke if it really did because your husband would not believe you. :) I know even if you cover it with fabric and paint it will still stick out like a sore thumb in the room. Just know whenever you agonize over it – you are not alone – there are many of us dealing with the same thing – a mollifier! Hope you enjoy your weekend.

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40 Marilyn March 20, 2013 at 5:17 pm

I don’t know why I didn’t comment on this post when I first read it. I came over today from your painted sideboard post. My mollifer is a lamp that hangs in our dining room. It was my husband’s grandmother’s and it is SOOO ugly–but my husband loves it. I made it a jollifier when I saw a post by Beachcomber in Australia. Here is a link to her blog. She has lovely photos: http://beachcomber26.blogspot.com/ Anyway, one day she took a trip to Ikea, and posted some photos. There was the most darling lamp “slipcover!” And yes, Ikea in San Diego had it. It is now gracing my grandmother-in-laws lamp–and makes me smile whenever I look at it!

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